“All the evidence we have indicates that it is reasonable to assume in practically every human being, and certainly, in almost every newborn baby, there is an active will toward health, and an impulse toward growth or toward actualization” – Abraham Maslow
There I was, staring down the barrel at twelve angry millionaires, including a few trust fund babies, all suffering a scourge beyond comprehension: alcohol and drug addiction. Positioning myself in the cranberry red Ikea chair, I took a deep breath and quietly observed the group in their varying stages of detoxification and recovery from substance abuse. Some of these folks were in rehab because of a family intervention; some were about to lose their families; some had already lost their spouses and kids; a few were facing jail time for DUIs; others were on a month-long sabbatical. They had not yet decided if they would snort, drink, shoot, or smoke again. It mattered little that we were sitting atop a mountain in a 6000-square-foot feng shui home with a panoramic, 120-degree view of the Pacific Ocean. It didn’t matter a whit. Despite the mind-blowing view, being in rehab sucked. These people were just like addicts at a lockdown facility—no different. Millionaires, movie stars and even the guy waiting for a trial, can all be rife with a torrent of anger, resentment, and extra-large feelings. Addiction is an equal-opportunity feudal lord.
On this particular morning, the rich and famous were gathered at a twice-weekly group therapy in order to share wicked stories of abuse, loss, and suffering. Essentially, they were there to vent, and I was there to substitute for their regular group leader. But before we got into all the painful psychological stuff, I decided to take a different approach. I decided to venture outside the therapeutic box, into more positive, unchartered territory. Not knowing what to expect, I asked this question: “Does anyone here have Evidence that they are healing?” The inmates looked confused, so I clarified.
“Okay, guys. Here is the Webster’s Dictionary definition of evidence: ‘Something that furnishes proof; or an outward sign’.’” Then I went deeper and spoke slowly. Many of these clients were not in very good shape.
“I like to think of Evidence with a capital E, because in this context, it can be empowering, uplifting, and encouraging. Here are some synonyms for what I mean by Evidence:” proof, confirmation, verification, validation, authentication, certification, corroboration, substantiation, documentation, witness, statement, data, indication, sign, totem, signal, illustration, demonstration, and again, proof. Does anyone have that?”
Much to my amazement, all twelve hands shot straight up. They had answers. They all had some Good Evidence. Each individual reported a concrete story of healing. They had proof. In a split second, twelve angry addicts got high on Good Evidence instead of ecstasy. Even the clients who had just been admitted, sweating, nauseous, and gripped by the Tasmanian devil of detoxification, found Good Evidence in the fact that they had not used in twenty-four hours. For this group, not drinking for twenty-four hours was Evidence! Some of their responses were:
“I’m sleeping six hours in a row.”
“I had a sober laughing fit yesterday.”
“I played tennis for the first time in ten years.”
“I called my brother and apologized.”
“I didn’t have a craving today.”
“I told the truth.”
Suddenly the room was infused with energy and enthusiasm. I then
instructed everyone to jot down their proof in a new journal that could be devoted exclusively to positive events.
I said, “Do this daily because when you write stuff down, it expands. Take that Good Evidence you just shared and begin a practice of noticing good behaviors and experiences. You’ll be shocked at how many more excellent things occur than you realize. Call it your E-Log, short for your Evidence Log. I spend about five minutes each day writing in mine.”
From that day on, the clients added Good Evidence to their recovery lexicon.
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